Concerns about Spanking
The following list provides talking points for when/if you talk to parents about trying a different approach to discipline than spanking.
- It’s good to have many strategies for how to handle behavior (e.g., selective attention, ignoring, time-out) and not just depend on spanking.
“It’s so tough being a parent sometimes. A main thing I try to do is to help parents have a lot of different ideas for how they might handle their child’s behavior. Usually trying more things before a spanking is needed can at least reduce how many times you get to a point where your child needs a spanking.”
- Spanking doesn’t teach the correct behavior. It only discourages the wrong behavior and only when the parent is around.
“Spanking let’s your child know what (she/he) shouldn’t do. But, in terms of making sure it doesn’t happen again, it’d help your child to know what you want the child to do instead. Otherwise, you might get your child to stop acting that way when you’re around but not fully teach (her/him) what she should do.”
- Spanking is often the result of an angry reaction rather than a thoughtful plan for how to teach the child good behavior.
“It can be a little confusing for children why you’re allowed to put your hands on them, but they can’t do that with others. Unfortunately sometimes kids take away the message that it’s okay to put their hands on someone to get her/him do what she/he wants.”
- The child may learn that using physical means to handle problems is okay.
“I find that parents often spank when they’re at their wits end and unsure what to do. So, instead of thinking through a plan of how to handle a situation to teach their children to behave well in the future, they’re frustrated, and spanking is a quick fix to the stress.”